I promised to continue the Tales from the French Rivers ….
The more the season is progressing, the more meditation I need! Therefore those tales are also a vent for me. I rather write it down than scream into guests faces what I think!
Working on a cruise ship is a lot of work, but also fun. Guests usually think they are very cool when they make jokes – my favorites are about the weather – but they do not realize that at least 50 % of the guests make the same lame joke and all think they are the only ones and very funny, bless them. Sometimes I am not sure however, if they really are joking or of they actually mean it, though ….
What kind of weather did you order! This is not what we have booked! – Monsieur, I always order good weather, but for delivery our guests are responsible! – What do you mean? – Well, we are so busy organizing and taking care of the guests, that we have no time to make the weather. But you know the saying about Angles and travelling? – But it is raining! – Those are heaven’s tears of joy! Tomorrow will be sunny again!
What is the temperature outside this morning? – Oh, let me go check since the door is right next to us ….. aaaahhh, it feels like 18°C at the moment! – Haha, I could have gone out to check myself! – Yes, you could have! But you also could have just looked at the thermometer which is located right here as well ….
Will you order the rain to stop? – Monsieur, I always order the rain to stop, but Petrus is not always listening to me! – But why did you not order sunshine for today? – Well, I tried to call and order sun, however the line was busy all the time ……..
Look, it rained so much last night, even the ducks have mistaken the boule field for their pond! Is that not cool? – That is not funny! – Well, I think it is! It stopped raining this morning and I shall remind you in a couple of days, when we reach the South and you complain about the sun and heat, that you did not like this weather either!
The good thing about rain is that enough water is coming down the river, so there is always enough water under the ship. The bad thing about rain is, sometimes there is too much water coming down the river and there is not enough space under the low bridges for the ship to pass. But I can let my creative talent play and build interactive art out of our multifunctional parasol-umbrellas! And no, they are not blocking an emergency exit, because they just fall out when the door automatically opens and you can wade through them … Interactive art!
Oh, it is too hot outside! – Well, yeah, it is August in the South of France! These are the usual temperature here at this time of the year! – But nobody told me this when I booked this cruise! – Madame, be happy, because at the moment the temperatures at home in Germany are even higher than here and at least our air conditioner in the ship is working perfectly! Do you have air conditioning in your house at home? – No, of course we have no air conditioner at home! – And who are you going to complain at home when it is too hot and you do not even have an air conditioner? – To my husband! – And can he change the weather? Because if yes, tell him to get to work here as well and we would all be grateful!
Due to the low bridges and usually strong winds the parasols on the sundeck cannot be put up a lot of the time when we are cruising down the rivers. Therefore our wonderful multifunctional parasol-umbrellas enjoy great popularity …. sometimes. Mostly guests of course complain, because who wants to hold a parasol while sitting on the sundeck? But latest after the first sunburn – yes, the river reflects the sun and intensifies it! – or the first signs of heat exhaustion – yes, because the wind falsifies the heat sensation! – those parasols come out anyway eventually.
I am the only representative of the company I work for on board. The rest of the crew is basically chartered with the ship. Quite frankly, I am very happy that I am the only one responsible. Sometimes guests think, that if they write en e-mail to the company complaining about something – for example about the closed sundeck – while still being on the cruise, the impact would be greater instead of coming directly to me. Often that is, because writing something is easier than approaching somebody, because they already know the answer anyway…. Those e-mails are forwarded to the responsible person, which is in such a case the cruise director on the ship. Then I send them a bottle of company logo bubbly with an invitation for a clarifying meeting. I explain them again – for the umpteens time why the sundeck is closed and why the parasols cannot be opened, but dutifully promise to speak to the Captain to see if he can do something. Of course, there is nothing he can do, the bridges are that low! But in the end, I read in the comment cards – The parasols were only opened after we complained in writing to the company! – ….. No, they were only opened on a different section of the river where there are no such low bridges! But if it makes you happy to have the last word then be it!
Is it not lonely as the only person from your company on this ship? – No, why would you think that, madame? We have 35 other crew members on board and 140 guests. Trust me, it is never lonely. – But on the big cruise ships of your company there are many more in your uniform. – Yes, madame, there are also many more guests on those ships, therefore there are more colleagues of my company there and of course also more crew members, you might have noticed. – And you never miss to have more of your colleagues around? – No, madame, I have many colleagues here on board. There are 35 crew members here!
We have always embarkation in Lyon and guests arrive there all differently. Some organize their travel individually or come by car or train, others book flights or bus with the cruise. Recently there was always a lot of trouble with delayed luggage on the flights. On almost every cruise there are some suitcases missing from the flights.
Welcome on board, get off the bus, come in check in, welcome home! Those of you who have not received their luggage at the airport, please contact me immediately, so I can follow-up on it.
I do not want to give you that lost luggage report paper! – You do not have to give me the paper, sir! You can stand here while I take a copy of it at this copy machine and I hand you back your original. See? – OK. Will you make sure my luggage will arrive tonight? – Well, I will contact the airport lost and found and make sure it gets delivered as soon as possible. But it all depends on the airline. If they have found your suitcase and know where it is, it will be given a new flight and then I can make sure the delivery service knows where to bring it. I will do my utmost to have it on board as soon as it has arrived in Lyon! – How come you do not know if my luggage has been found yet? – Because, sir, you just arrived here and you let me take a copy of your lost luggage report in this moment. Now I have your reference file number and now I can follow-up. Because, believe it or not, your suitcase is not the only one that has gone missing today in Frankfurt!
Day 2 – The suitcase of the other guests that had one missing, has been delivered today, I saw it! Why is my suitcase not here yet? – Sir, I do not know. But I have checked the worldtracer online and called the hotline and they just do not know yet where your suitcase is! They have not located it yet. As soon as they have found it, I can get into action to have it delivered to where ever we are! For all I know at the moment, it might be taking a trip around the world as a stowaway on a plane. – You are not putting enough effort in it! I will complain about you! – Madame, I understand your frustration. But they do not even know where your suitcase is at the moment. Therefore I cannot do anything! I suggest in the meantime you take the opportunity to go shopping for a new outfit! Keep the receipts and claim it back from the airline after! It is a great opportunity to have an excuse to convince your husband to go shopping with you!
Day 3 – Have you heard anything about our suitcase? – No, sir not yet. It still has not been located! But I have noticed you have logged into the worldtrace and you have changed the contact details for delivery. You have deleted my phone number and e-mail address and you put in yours. – Yes, I have! Because I do not trust that you put enough effort into the matter of getting my wife’s suitcase back and I want them to contact me as soon they found my suitcase! – Very well, sir. No problem. But is it OK with you, if I keep adjusting the temporary address of the ship online every time we move, so they know where to send the suitcase once it is found? Or would you like to do it yourself? – Yes, you might do that! But please, do not change the contact details! – No, sir, I shall not!
Day 6 – Hello hello, I just got an e-mail! The suitcase is found and it is being flown to Marseille to be delivered tomorrow in Arles! – Yes, I know! I just talked to the delivery company from Lyon who has my mobile number on file for all lost suitcases of this ship’s guests. They asked me, if it was OK they would send it to Marseille via Frankfurt. But I told them, this is not suitable for you. You would want to receive the suitcase as soon as possible preferably before departure this afternoon in Avignon, since you waited that long for it already. Therefore now your suitcase is being driven on express delivery from Lyon to Avignon and if there is no traffic jam on the way, it will be here at 17:30, which is in …. 3 hours! – Oh! Why do they send me flight details for my suitcase to Marseille then? – Well, sir, I think it might have to do with the fact, that for them you are just another passenger who has lost a suitcase. But I deal with them every week and they have my number on file and my opinion in mind. Our guests want their luggage delivered as soon as it has arrived in Lyon, because they are on a cruise. So, I told them it must arrive today, after all it has been a long time you had to wait for your suitcase. – And they just called you? – Yes, they did, even though you deleted my number from your file. – Well, let’s hope my suitcase will arrive on time, then! – I am sure! ….. And – No, sir, you do not have to thank me! ….. Meditation!
Some guests arrive by bus from Germany. Mind you, the mode of transport every guest chooses by themselves! You can either book a flight or book the bus, but also you can come by TGV train directly from Germany or drive your own car. Totally their own choice how they get here. A lot of people forget however, that they made this choice by themselves.
For example, when they arrive by bus …. Depending on the traffic, where you got on the bus and how many guests were joining on the different scheduled stops along the way, that trip can last some 14 hrs. Even though this is written in their papers and every normal thinking person would know this anyway, there are always some guests, who claim nobody told them. Naturally!
We had to get up at 02:30 this morning to get to the bus stop for the departure at 04:30! And now you want us to listen through the safety instructions? – Yes, madame, this is necessary! It is mandatory for every guest to be there! – But we just arrived 30 min ago. – Well, madame, the ship will depart soon and we have to do those safety instructions before that. Most guests arrived much earlier and we postponed the information already just so you could also powder your nose before. – But we just arrived 30 min ago! – Madame, you chose to take the bus. Most other people flew in or even took the train and arrived already. – That was too expensive for us! – I am sorry to hear that. I hope you enjoy your stay on board anyway once you had time to relax. After all you booked a very nice cabin in the highest category we have on board! …. Meditations!
On some cruises we go with the ship further south from Arles all the way to Martigues. From Arles it is down the Grand Rhone to Port-St-Louis-du-Rhone and from there through very narrow channels to Martigues. Some of those channels are basically in the sea – the sea, a dam, the channel, a dam, the road, an étang.
Usually we pass here during dinner time since the sundeck is completely closed for guests, because of low bridges. But it is also meditation sundowner time for me! Dinner on the deck with the best view of the Mediterranean Seas is my kind of meditation!
Yes, I like the sea and the ocean! I love this part of the cruise where I can watch the Sea in the distance. But no, I do not miss working on ocean cruise ships! They are way too big for me nowadays!
We also have to pass the Fos-sur-Mer harbour area, which belongs already to the sea port of Marseille. It is a huge industrial zone with massive cargo ships being docked.
Martigues, however, is a small town with a yacht harbour, which is also sometimes called the “Venice of the Provence”, because it has a few channels leading through the small old town to the Étang de Berre. It is a pretty harbour town. We arrive in the evening and stay till the next early afternoon.
I always tell guests that we only go there to start our excursion to Marseille. The only reason we go this far is for that excursion! While Martigues is pretty enough, Marseille is the highlight. I always go on that excursions, but every now and then I am forced to stay on board because somebody is ill or such. Then I still have the chance for a quick wander along the quays, particularly in the “quartier des pêcheurs” around the canal Saint-Sébastien. This quarter is called “Le miroir aux oiseaux” and back in the 17th century, fishermen used to live in the colourful old houses lining the banks of the canal.
Marseille is the second-largest city of France, the largest city of the Provence historical region and has a population of approx. 850000. Known to the ancient Greeks and Romans as Massalia Marseille was the most important trading centre in the region and the main commercial port of the French Republic. Marseille is now France’s largest city on the Mediterranean coast and the largest port for commerce, freight and cruise ships. The city was European Capital of Culture in 2013.
The tour follows the coastal road and we make a couple of photo stops where beautiful vistas over the bay towards the Calanques and the Frioul Islands located approx 4 km off the coast. The Château d’If is located on the island of If, the smallest island of the Frioul Islands. It is famous for being one of the settings of Alexandre Dumas’ adventure novel The Count of Monte Cristo. Even though, this novel is totally fictional, there is a prison cell on the Château d’If with a sign that it is the actual cell of the Count of Monte Christo. Because so many tourists came to visit and ask for this cell, the city of Marseille decided without further ado to set up a cell of the Count. It is a great tourist attraction now.
After a beautiful tour along the Vieux Port and the coastal road, we go up to Notre-Dame de la Garde which is a Catholic basilica and probably the city’s best-known symbol. It was built on the foundations of an ancient fort at the highest natural point in Marseille, a 149 m limestone outcropping on the south side of the Old Port of Marseille.
Construction of the basilica began in 1852 and lasted for 21 years. It was originally an enlargement of a medieval chapel. The basilica consists of a lower crypt in the Romanesque style, carved from the rock, and an upper church of Neo-Byzantine style decorated with mosaics. A square 41 m bell tower topped by a 12 m belfry supports a monumental 11 m statue of the Madonna and Child made of copper gilded with gold leaf.
The view over the city and the port from up there is fantastic.
The next stop is in the Vieux Port where the guests have free time to roam around. The Old Port of Marseille is at the end of the Canebière, the major street of Marseille. It has been the natural harbour of the city since antiquity and is now the main popular place in Marseille. It became mainly pedestrian in 2013. It is guarded by two massive forts – Fort Saint-Nicolas and Fort Saint-Jean – and is one of the main places to eat in the city. Dozens of cafés line the waterfront and the Quai des Belges at the end of the harbour is the site of the daily fish market.
The first time I did the excursion I was determined to eat oysters. The guide did not know where to go for that, because she herself did not eat oysters. We asked around the promenade and were pointed to Chez Roger right there. We were early at like 10:30 and ordered a dozen oysters straight away. The waitress looked at us with unbelieving eyes – Are you sure? It is early! – Yes, we are sure!
When they would not arrive fast enough, we ask again, because we were in a hurry and she said, the oysters are ready, but they are waiting for the bread to be delivered … But I do not need bread! Just bring the oysters!
Ever since we go every time to Chez Roger when in Marseille! This year I am always having the Plateau de Fruit de Mer, which has not only oysters on it, but a lot more. It is delicious! And before you ask – this plateau is for 2 people – even though I could eat it all by myself …. This year I even tried sea urchin for the first time in my life and its was …. not really my favourite …..
It regularly makes my week to have this break in Marseille – sit in the sun with guide friends, have a glass of Rosé, enjoy the best seafood and soak up the atmosphere of the Vieux Port Marina. My kind of meditation!
In May we were in Marseille on the same day as the Europa League Final in soccer between Olympique Marseille against Atletico Madrid. While the game was in Lyon later that day, the local fans were already partying hard in the Vieux Port. There even came a barge into the marina with the hugest loudspeakers I have ever seen – and heard! They fired up the fans with music. It was so loud we had to plug our ears! We were so happy, when the announcer told the fans to slowly walk along the promenade to the bus parking near the new port where the busses for Lyon were waiting! And they all listened – they started walking were singing and using firecrackers and other pyrotechnic all the time.
I was worried about our guests, some of which were sitting on the benches along the promenade. One of the guides ran across to check on some of them. But all were happy enough and even enjoyed the atmosphere, because the entire thing seemed absolutely peaceful, the fans were friendly and even chatted to the tourists. For once nobody complained! Surprise!
But this peace usually does not last long. Back on the ship the Captain is always already waiting for the excursion to return and as soon as everybody is on board we sail. While the guests have lunch we pass all those narrow channels with low bridges again and reach the Grand Rhône later in the afternoon.
….. and before you know it another season is over!
